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Netflix, Onision & Anxiety Relief.

A Chat About Emily LeRae Smith, Self Harm & Mental Health.

Leave Wonder Woman Alone!

Getting my mojo back!

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, so I’ve decide today that I will be open about some of my struggles recently. I’ve been finding it incredibly hard to find any kind of motivation, even in regards to the things I am passionate about. I have been making YouTube videos for over eight years now, and while it has been such a wonderful experience for me, it’s also been a constant struggle. A struggle to stay motivated and to stay true to myself.

I’ve come to terms with the fact I will never be a “big” YouTuber but the lack of change or channel growth can sometimes be incredibly disheartening. I’ve realised that I need to stop trying to fit in on YouTube, and online in general, for that matter. I need to start allowing myself to have fun again and stop desperately trying to fit the mold. It never works and it is never fun.

I have always felt like I need to be one thing, have one genre of content and focus solely on that. Although to me, that is just so boring. I get that it is great for continuity but, it’s just not me. I get bored easily and I like to express myself in different ways. So why hold back on that?

Life is too damn short to limit myself. 

Which is why I am no longer uploading videos on a tight schedule, I am uploading content, only when I feel inspired to share something with the world and when I have something to say. I have been having impromptu cosplay photo shoots (see photo above), recording videos when a light bulb of inspiration goes off in my mind, and in general, having fun being creative again.

Taking the pressure off myself to “keep up with the Joneses” is really sparking a new found passion within me. There is nothing more stifling than creating something, for the sake of it.

It’s time to get back to basics and just have fun.

Because its obvious when someone is passionate about something. That in itself, is inspiring.

Humiliated on Pearse Street.

I’ve had a really good week. I went to some interesting live shows, spent time with loved ones, viewed some beautiful modern art, had dinner with a good friend and generally, felt rather happy. That is, until I let the words of a stranger affect me. It’s funny, isn’t it? How we let people get to us.

The sun was shining, it was sixteen degree’s in Dublin city and I had just ate a lovely breakfast at The Woolen Mill. A friend and I were walking down Pearse street, minding our own business, when three guys approached us. One of the guys stepped forward in front of us, he looked quite intimidating and to be honest, he looked rough. He pointed a finger at my friend and exclaimed “You, yeah. I would”, and then he pointed towards me, “You, not so much”. His act of comic genius sent his friends into a uproar of laughter, relishing in the sheer confidence their friend had, to walk up to two girls on the street, and rate them like cattle.

It all happened within seconds, but it was astonishing how slow time felt when it was occurring. Once the group of guys walked past us, both my friend and I stood there in shock. Not sure what to say to one another. Why would some one do that? What’s the payoff?

To be quite honest, I was hurt and humiliated by the experience.

We kept walking towards our destination in Temple Bar, and more the I thought about the situation, the more angry I felt. Why did I care? Why did it bother me? I was annoyed at myself for being annoyed by it! To be frank, I wouldn’t have sex with that guy if he was the last guy on earth and the human race depended on it. I didn’t think he was remotely attractive. So, why did I care that he thought I wasn’t attractive either? It really irked me.

elaineoneill.com

It pains me to admit this, but I cried out of pure frustration. Why didn’t I snipe back with a witty comeback to humiliate his intelligence, or lack there of. Also, I kept thinking, how many other girls had he done this to today? Or, ever? He had humiliated my friend and I. Were there other girls who were walking the streets of Dublin, eyes welling up with tears over the words of a stranger? It upset me to ponder that thought.

My self esteem has never been fantastic and this sure didn’t helped.

Thankfully, through out the day, I was able to move on with my life and not worry so much about what this random person thought of my appearance. I thought about my own self worth, and how it is not defined by the opinions of others. All that really matters, is what I think about myself. At the end of the day, I feel sorry for that guy, because he clearly doesn’t exert the qualities most people find attractive. And, while I may be no oil painting, I am a good person, who doesn’t gain joy from humiliating other people in public.

elaineoneill.com

After the entire ordeal, my friend Elaine, spoke to me about her experiences with similar situations and we chatted about a project she produced for college, that was based on the topic of harassment. We both came to the conclusion that it is important to call out this type of behavior. I thought about all the men in my life and how they would never do something like that to two women, walking down the street. And, if anyone I knew ever did such a thing, I would tell them they were being complete assholes. It’s usually pack-mentality that gives people the gall to do something like this, they get high off the thrill of doing something extreme in front of their friends, in order to impress them.

Newsflash! No one thinks you’re cool. 

It’s not a badge of honor to humiliate someone successfully. In fact, it makes you look like a terrible person. I truly do not understand why anyone would want to do something like that to another human being. The guy who did that to my friend and I, has probably long forgotten about this occurrence, while it still lingers in my mind days later. Which is the reason I am writing this blog post, to express how I feel about the entire scenario, in order to let it go fully. If one person reads this and decides against doing something like this in the future because of it, or decides to call out a friend for doing something similar, then it’s worth it for me to post this.

 

Confessions in cosplay..

Support your favourite artists!

Right off the bat, let’s be real with one-another and admit that it’s hard to put yourself out there.

Especially, when it comes to your creative work. The stuff you put your heart and soul into.

There is nothing more daunting than sharing something you created and then waiting for feedback and reactions. You never know what’s going to land and what is going to “fail”.

However, we do know this, that it takes a lot of balls to do it. If you’ve ever shared your vision with anyone, you know this feeling all too well.

It’s both exhilarating and terrifying, simultaneously.

I think it is important to let someone know when we enjoy what they do. This is something I feel is very important, to acknowledge someone’s effort and work. As someone who has been creating content for over eight years now, I can verify that positive feedback is not only wonderful, it’s greatly appreciated. It’s easy to just scroll through our feeds and “like” things without commenting, we don’t even think much about it. Believe me, I get it. Social media is passive at the best of times. However, I do think it is detrimental to leave feedback if you like someone’s work.

Believe me, it means a lot to people. It encourages creators to keep going, to keep creating. It’s hard to stay afloat online these days. Particularly, with the constant YouTube glitches, demonetization’s and advertisers leaving the platform, etc. Feedback means more to creators than ever before. It keeps our channels showing up in your subscription feeds and lets us know someone is still watching.

I’m using YouTube as a example because that is the platform I post the most content on, but this goes for almost any platform people share content. The bottom line is that your feedback is incredibly important. It’s the driving force for the growth and recognition of some of your favourite creators and artists.

Basically, if you like someone’s work tell them. Support it and share it!

Here are some artists and creators I think deserve more love:

Cosplay Tips for Beginners!

4 simple ways to have more meaningful interactions.

PUT. YOUR. PHONE. AWAY.

In the modern world, we use our phones a lot. Some might say, too much. Whenever we think about leaving our phones behind or putting them away for a set period of time, we get anxiety or we convince ourselves we need them just-in-case. We act like our phones help us to be more present and stay in touch with people. In fact, they do the exact opposite. The truth is, we’ve become so used to being connected to social media, we forget how to interact with people in the real world. When interacting face-to-face it is so important to have manners and engage.

There is nothing more insulting to me than someone texting or tweeting from their phone when in conversation with me. It’s disrespectful and makes you feel like you aren’t interesting enough for that person to devote their attention to in that moment.

The first and most common mistake we make, is putting our phones on the table when we sit down. Leave your phone in your bag, it won’t kill you to put your phone away for a short period of time. Believe me, you’ll be thankful you dedicated time to your friend or loved one. Spending time with genuine people and having good conversations, is worth putting your phone away.

You won’t regret it.

Make the effort, offline.

Like I mentioned previously, a lot of us are dependent on social media and our phones for our daily interactions. It is important that we make the effort to connect in other ways, like an old fashioned phone call, text or (bare with me) a postcard. Let’s be honest, “liking” someone’s photo on Instagram is not interacting with them, it passive and quite frankly, if that is your way of interacting, it’s down right lazy. Sorry to be harsh, but it’s true.

We often trick our brains into thinking we know everything going on in someones life, because we are up to date with their social media feeds but it’s important to make the effort. By calling someone, sending a text or a postcard, we are directly reaching out and showing that person that we wanted to see how they are doing. People appreciate the effort, it’s a small kindness but it means a lot to people. Plus, everyone loves getting cute, unexpected letters or cards!

While I’m on this topic, if they are still in your life, call your grandparents.

You have no idea how precious their time is and how a phone call can make their day.

Compliment people.

But only if it’s genuine. It can be something as small as complimenting someones outfit, positive changes they’ve made to their life or praise on a job well-done. A simple compliment can go a long way and can really make someones day. Giving compliments is also a very beneficial social skill, it creates a good atmosphere and is encouraging.

Make eye contact.

Eye contact is incredibly important when it comes to making a connection with someone. It shows that you are listening and attentive. Making direct eye contact with someone can also help you read situations better, which in turn, will lead to a more positive interaction. If you are not great at making eye contact, just remember that practice makes perfect. By making an effort to look someone in the eye, you will appear more confident and engaging.

Be present and allow yourself to enjoy the time that you spend with loved ones.

Moments become memories and memories are priceless.