C-C-CHANGES!

Hey baby dolls!

So, it’s a brand new year and the month of my birthday (13th of January FYI) and I have been having quite an “Eat,Pray Love” inspired train of thought lately. Which basically means I have been deep in thought about the big questions that like often slaps us in the face with like, “Who am I?! Where am I going!? And WHY am I here?!!!!”  Those types of things have been weighing heaving on my mind lately. I am not getting any younger you know!

*tick tock tick tock*

I am going to admit that in 2013 I felt quite low about everything I was doing with my youtube channel, my blog and life in general. I just wasn’t really feeling it. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn’t getting anywhere. I felt like people had lost interest in me and that most of my other friends on youtube where surpassing me and I was being left behind. And i’ll be honest, I felt sorry for myself. My inner voice was being over critical of everything I did, I over analysed everything and picked myself apart. It made hobbies of mine that should be fun into chores that made me doubt myself and lose my confidence.

And then it hit me, I wasn’t making videos for fun anymore. I literally allowed myself to be dictated by what other “beauty gurus” or “fashion gurus” where doing online. And you know what! That is SO boring. It really is. If you are apart of the youtube community, especially the beauty community, you will understand what I mean. It all ends up becoming repetitive, the same types of videos, tags and ideas seem to show up all the time and it just gets tiring to try and keep up with. I have read blogs from other youtubers who say the same thing, it s a fast paced world on youtube and it’s hard to keep up sometimes.

 “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

– Albert Einstein

CAN I GET AN AMEN!!!?

I realised that I was no longer making videos that where fun to me, I was making what was expected of me. Just to clarify, this was my own fault. I allowed that to happen and this is why I am writing this blog. I am going to now only make videos when I am really inspired. When I am excited about an idea and want to share it with everyone. I absolutely love interacting with people who watch my videos and I want to continue to do that. I would also love to hear more video suggestions from everyone and get ideas for future videos. What topics would you like me to talk about? Let me know! Tweet me or mail me on facebook. I’d love to hear any suggestions you have and take them into consideration in the future.

Of course, I will still make beauty and fashion related videos but my channel will change slightly this year I hope. I want to make more vlogs about topics that matter to me and interest me. Mainly about body confidence, being yourself, mental health and loads of other topics thrown in for good measure. I think i’d like to do more personal videos and share more of my life with you all. I’d like my channel to be something different, to inspire people and start conversations. To be a place where I can express myself more openly. Which is the real reason I began making videos in the first place. It is time to get back to basics and just DO ME.

I know this is probably all news to you guys, but I did lose my self a little last year on my channel. I want to mojo back dammit!

I am excited to start making videos this year and really having some fun with it again.

Happy New Year btw! ^^ Let’s make 2014 a good one!

EllieJayden. xoxo

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