Tag Archives: Willow Rosenberg

Bi-Erasure & why It has to stop.

Bisexual erasure is term I recently learned, I’ve always known it was a ‘thing’ but I never knew a term had been coined to describe the tendency to dispute a person’s bisexuality. There is a ‘B’ in LGBT but I feel like bisexuals get the short end of the stick in the community sometimes.

Personally, I have been told by other members of the LGBT community, as wells as those who identify as heterosexual, that bisexuality doesn’t exist. I must admit, hearing these words hurts more when it comes from another member of the LGBT community. It hurts more because as a community, I feel like we should try harder to understand and accept each other for who we are.

According to the popular website Urban Dictionary, bisexual erasure is described as:

The tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, the news media, and other primary sources. In its most extreme form, bisexual erasure can include denying that bisexuality exists. 

There have been many bisexual  characters on T.V and in films over the past few years. Even though these characters identify themselves as bisexual, other characters often refer to them as homosexuals. There is a big difference between being homosexual and bisexual.

Bisexuals prefer both male & female, while homosexuals prefer their own gender.

I think one of the reasons for the confusion about bisexuality and the questioning of it’s legitimacy, is because many people use it as a pit stop before coming out.

Most people feel that it is a lot easier to say that they are bisexual, than admit to themselves and others that they are homosexual. I have many homosexual friends who’ve claimed to be bisexual at first, to ease themselves into coming out. That isn’t their fault at all, it’s societies fault.

It does however, make bisexuality seem illegitimate at times.

Calling bisexuality a “phase” or “just being greedy” is also extremely inconsiderate and ignorant. Even some of my favorite show’s have had bouts of bi erasure in their scripts. Willow Rosenberg, from Buffy The Vampire Slayer was referred to as a being gay because she dated Tara. Willow also had a deeply loving relationship with a male character named Oz, in previous seasons.

Yet, she was never referred to as a bisexual character.

Or take the popular Netflix series Orange Is The New Black, where main character Piper Chapman is referred to as a “former lesbian”, despite her past relationships with men.

True Blood actress Anna Paquin shut down Larry King after he questioned her bisexuality, referring to her as a “nonpracticing bisexual”. Skip to the 11 minute mark for her response!

So let’s get this straight (pardon the pun!) women who identify as bisexual are not straight when they are dating a male, nor are they lesbians when dating a female. The logic applies to bisexual men also, of course. Bisexuality is a legitimate sexuality, regardless of what the media and social norms may lead people to believe.

Bisexual people have a lot to deal with, we get told that we are liars and are more likely to cheat on our partners because we like both sexes, which is just preposterous. We are not ripping off our pants at the sight of every person we meet on the street, like everyone else we have our preferences.

I suggest checking out this fantastic article about Bisexual Women Discussing Their Long-Term Relationships With MenNot to disappoint you but we’re not closet lesbians and we shouldn’t have to defend ourselves as part of the LGBT community. 

Whedon Fashion Week #7 Willow

Oh, I don’t get wild. Wild on me equals spaz. “

Willow Rosenberg, the scoobies secret weapon and in my opinion, one bad ass chick. In season one of Buffy The Vampire Slayer we saw Willow as a babbling computer nerd with a love for reading and all things Xander. She was coy and sweet and we all wanted her as our best friend. My favorite thing about Willow’s character is that she was the underdog of the scoobies at the beginning but over the course of the seven seasons we got to seen her grow into this insanely powerful and self assured woman. Willow’s story inspires me and I am sure many other people out there. She showed us that people who seem “together” all the time can sometimes lose their way too, with her addiction to magic and the loss of the love of her life Tara, Willow spiraled down a dark path but made it out the other side thanks to her strong bond with the scoobies and her deep inner strength.

willow fashion willow2

 “Hard to believe such a hot mama-yama came from humble, geek-infested roots!”

Over the years her fashion style has evolved with her, really telling the story of her journey to self confidence and self acceptance. We saw her graduate from her childish dungarees into figure hugging trousers and body complimenting  sweaters and tops. When Willow started college she cut her hair short and rocked a pretty trendy bob, wore shorter skirts and experimented with her look more. She broke the rules too! Usually red heads avoid wearing the colour red but not Willow, in fact it was one of her staple colours! She wore a lot of red coloured necklaces and chokers too, chokers where a staple accessory for Willow. Her make up was kept natural most of the time, she usually had on a shimmery gold coloured eye shadow and opted for a red lip colour on occasion.

I can relate to Willow on many levels, on a emotional level I can understand how she felt struggling to find herself and feeling like she never fit in. I think over the years Willow decided it was okay to be herself and she just let go of feeling forced to be “cool” or trendy and that is something I think most of us can relate to on a personal level. Willow represents ever one of us who felt weird or different in school and grew up to feel much more self assured in later years and that is why I dedicated this final post to her, Willow proves that being cool is not about wearing the latest trends or the most expensive clothing, it is about confidence and the journey you take to get to a place of true self acceptance.

Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace. 
Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell? “

I hope you enjoyed reading these Whedon Fashion Week posts! They where a lot of  fun to write and I will use any excuse to combine my love for sci-fi, fantasy and fashion. ^_~